Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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