at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
