Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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