well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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