She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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