Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
