Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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