I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize