What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
