How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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