If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
