barbara walters just said penis...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
