So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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