There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
