I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
