he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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