Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
