so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
