Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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