My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
The adults are the big ones right?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
