We're facebook friends in real life
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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