hotel room ftw
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Panties = found
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
