Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
