...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
