She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize