Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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