I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
