Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
