on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just forgot I was standing up.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
