so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
This baby is an asshole
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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