I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
