I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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