sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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