Christians are straight up FREAKS
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Come on in and take your pants off
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