bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
