im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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