Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
