She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
