I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
