Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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