i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
