I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
