i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize