i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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