Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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