How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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