Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
