I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
porn star boner night. come get it.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
