This girl is more easily done than said...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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