do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
