What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
