you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
