Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
