I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
