Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
