My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
