I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
