Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
