Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
