it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I have aggressive nipples.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
