Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
